Have you ever been discovered?

First of all, I apologize to you all for the long delay in our posting. In the first weeks, as you know, Marcus was down with something (we actually thought it was salmonella since it coincided with some salmonella news here; but eventually we were able to rule it out). Then came the mountain of work for me, and it was just impossible to find time and blog! So again, my apologies.

Since no "real" spankings have been going on these past weeks (if you exclude playful ones that don't leave a mark, and zen spankings which I talked about recently), I thought I'd take a look at our own spanking photo archives from last year, to inspire me back to blogging.

I found this particularly cute pyjama picture of Marcus, from about this time of the year last year:

My broad brush had been used, resulting in pink round markings that raise slightly from the skin. Usch!

The funny thing is that my mom actually gave those pyjamas to us as a present (red for Marcus and blue for me -- our favorite colors), but she has no idea (to my knowledge anyway) that we have mostly been using it as a spanking costume. Perhaps if she mistakenly gets her way to this page, she will recognize the pattern from the pyjamas she had bought from Thailand.

I don't know how many of us would be able to share our kink with a family member. I've read some interviews of professional spankers (those that produce spanking movies), and how some of them have had to tell their parents so as not to lead a double life of sorts. As a "hobbyist", we never really felt a compulsion to divulge our hobby to anyone who knows us personally, but I remember how (because I failed to move some spanking pictures to another folder), my sister saw one of my red-butt pictures early on when Marcus and I became a couple.

I was showing her some cute couple pictures of us at Marcus' apartment, and as soon as I scrolled to the next picture, we were both surprised that it was a butt on the screen!

I deleted the picture in a hurry, red in my face as I would imagine. My butt was only slightly pink (it was one of our first spanking sessions, so I was eventually sorry that II deleted it), and Marcus -- who was worried that I might get turned off by the pain I wasn't used to by then -- fetched some re-freezable ice blocks to put on my bottom. So, the picture was actually of my pink butt, framed by a blue ice block!

I just explained it quickly to my sister as a game we tried, and then clumsily changed the topic (I even tried to say that it was Marcus' butt, hopefully she didn't stare at the picture long enough to see that it was womanly hips on the picture). Then, we never talked about the picture again. How embarrasing!!!

So my question for today stems from this personal experience of mine. Have any of you ever been discovered by a "vanilla" acquaintance, friend, or relative one time or another? How did you feel? How did you try to explain your way out of it, or did you just share the whole lot?

Polls at Blogflux don't work right now, so I would love to have your stories as comments, out of curiosity and to see weather anyone has the same experience as me!

/Carolyn

The nurse and the zen spanking

Marcus is currently not feeling so well, so any serious spankings are put on hold for the moment. Instead, I am busy taking care of the poor sick boy -- a great time to fantasize about being strict mom or nurse. I did get an unusual request from my "patient" yesterday though. When his head was aching and I asked if he needed a massage, he instead asked for some light spankings...

Before you say that it was mean of me to oblige, it really wasn't a hard spanking, I can say that. I don't know what to call them really, but they've been called "zen spanking" elsewhere: light-to-medium hard taps on regular intervals, made to make you relax and be very aware at the same time. They're not so hard to make one cringe, but not so light that you are not aware of them. Rather, all your thoughts concentrate on ... well, nothing at all. They just float there somewhere, on a point between the ceiling and your rosy butt cheeks. It is a spanko's state of no-mind, and I can assure you that it is very relaxing.

So, that is what Marcus requested, and I couldn't resist turning it into a small game, with me as the therapist, releasing Marcus of his negative energies. I sat on the bed beside him, just spanking decisively and talking gently. When I asked him, he actually said it took some pain away from his head -- probably my zen spankings gave him some other sort of pain to think about. After a 10- to 15- minute session, he was sufficiently relaxed and sufficiently tired, and slept like a baby. Then I sneaked this picture (I think the butt looked rosier than it looks in the picture though!)


I sound like a spanking testimonial here, but this is actually one of the wonders of a spanking relationship: it has so many dimensions, all loving, but with different degrees of intensity, seriousness, playfulness, even different purposes! Everyone would benefit in this stressed world if you could enter 15-minute spanking parlors during your lunch break, don't you think? Almost all domestic violence will disappear, too. We all need that endorphin rush from time to time, or that feeling of being punished, forgiven and caressed -- all of which the world of spanking can give. But before I start marketing consensual spanking as a cure-all, I'll stop here.

Just wish Marcus a get-well-soon, everyone, and send your zen spankings over for his speedy recovery!

P.S. Some religious weirdo has posted an incredibly long comment on many spanking blogs (including mine), about god's wrath and sexual deviancy blah blah blah. Well, not that I read the whole "document" of his, but ... where did this weirdo come from? Anyway, he's bonkers and antisocial enough not to know that comments can be deleted, and will be if the blog owner sees fit. And by the way, that person deserves a serious spanking with a "holy" paddle (which is what I call a paddle with holes) just because I saw his comment first thing in the morning. Ugh! D.S.

Food and fetish

I don't know if it's the blogging that is affecting my subconscious or if the subconscious thoughts that were always there just got a chance to be heard -- and are therefore making their presence ever-known to me -- since I started this blog (or "we" rather, because -- despite me hogging all the blog space here-- Marcus was the one who actually had the idea of starting this up and I would never have considered it without his suggestion).

But here's what I know. Since starting this blog of ours, I...

1. Have been having vivid dreams that involved spanking, bondage, and sexuality almost every day. Some are sexy, and some are just plain weird. The weirdest one so far came to me a few nights ago. It involved me being tied on my back to a giant cheese wheel, my arms bound together, my knees apart and my feet on the cheese -- probably anticipating some light flogging. I imagined that you guys (the readers of this blog) loved the pictures of the cheese-bondage, and Marcus and I eventually came up with a series of close-ups involving my hands or my feet tied to various blocks of cheeses of different sizes and variants.

I know... it's crazy. But incidentally, while trying to find a picture of a giant cheese wheel, I found this picture of a milk maid lying on one, her butt pointed at the air and her feet seemingly held up. There are a few differences in our poses alright, but she could also be taunting you for a spank, don't you think?

(Picture by Don Emmert, AFP/Getty Images -- who may not be at all flattered that I have used his picture in this site. On the other hand, you never can tell!)

2. I realized since a few weeks ago that I really *really* enjoy anal play. Mostly, I enjoy touching Marcus' hole, just flicking my fingers around its edges, looking at it and even smelling it from time to time. I know that it sounds pervy... I would have thought so a few months back myself. However, I can't explain the feeling of plain excitement that I get from just having my fingers nearby, pinching some flesh now and then. Sometimes I even think I could get carried away massaging him this way and find my bare finger there by surprise! On the other hand, I find that Marcus' little peeps of surprise during these moments when I'm just about to enter my fingers are one of the most pleasurable sounds I have ever heard. During my recent visit to the hospital, I even managed to steal a bunch of latex gloves to fulfill my mounting curiosity and to satisfy my itchy fingers... :-D

This leads me to think that the strap-on is the way to go from here. Strap-ons were just plain invented for people like me! At the moment however, with neither a dildo nor a strap-on in my possession, one can be amazed at how necessity (or just plain desire to fulfill a curiosity) becomes the mother of invention. Funny as it seems to me now, I actually got the permission to use a carrot to fulfill my purpose -- an opportunity that I jumped at with eagerness! Haha! I actually laugh like an evil lady-dom when I perform these things on a probably humiliated Marcus. Actually though, I was actually very gentle -- when I wasn't over-excited, that is -- and I asked him a lot about what he felt, what he liked or didn't like. On the whole, my man here reports that he likes it, despite the strange choice of implement.

I swear I will never look at carrots the same way again though (however healthy and delicious these vegetables are)! Luckily, while looking for other weirdos like me under Google (searching for "carrot + butt" :-D) I found out that I am also in good company. Long ago, our dear friend Arnold Swarzenegger also tried to place a carrot between someone's butt cheeks (full article here). The difference between him and me though, is that I actually succeeded!

Day after birching...

...A continuation of the story from the previous post, from Marcus' point of view.

After Carolyn's birching (from her last post), my bottom was ablaze and I was totally spent and exhausted. Despite not being able to cry I still felt small, vulnerable and most of all, punished. I really needed a big hug and some comforting words.

You would understand if your butt also looked something like this instantly after:

The sharp stingy sensation quickly faded after a couple of minutes, although the nice afterglow -- constant lingering pain that is -- lasted on my butt for several hours. It was actually quite nice. That is, untill I took my shower. Oooouch! The water stung, bad! Carolyn said she could hear my ouches from downstairs!

Also, previous birchings never left any marks besides some small spots where the birch tips had hit so I expected nothing more this thime either. I was pleasantly surprised though when I woke up next morning, when Carolyn pointed out that my whole backside was blue! Or rather, it looks purplish to me.

Pics of the butt following morning:


(Carolyn: awww, ain't that cute?)

I know it dosn't look like much, but I'm very proud and happy over the slight blueness showing, especially since it comes from the birch. Although I suspect that most of the blueness actually is caused by the "warmup" with the belt?

By the way, about use of the safeword, I didn't know we were going to use the safeword during this session, but when Carolyn mentioned it (she probably pitied me a bit after all!) I quickly took the chance since I was in so much pain that I would have done anything to make it stop. Maybe next time we should really agree that the safeword dosn't count... and yes that means that I'm almost ready for my next spanking. Not quite, but almost.

Marcus gets the spanking of his life...

...for now >:-D

Summer is ending and so is our stay at the countryside, so before leaving for the city again (where there are more people to hear him scream!), Marcus requested for "the spanking of his life".

I have actually been spanking Marcus (and have been almost regularly spanked by him) for about two years now, since one week of meeting each other. It's another story how he got me into it, and how I have grown to love (and even ask for) our little "games". Each time though, I find myself fitting more and more into the role, willing to endure -- and most of all, inflict -- more and more pain.

Of course, as a loving spanking couple, the"discipline" is consensual. It's only fun when spanking is not abusive or derogatory, and there is mutual trust between the parties. It's important to know what your partner expects from the spanking, what the limits are, and how far the "punisher" can go.

But this has been a problem for me, since Marcus is a very demanding guy to please. Each time I think I push him to his limit, his threshold of pain just keeps on increasing, and I have to keep up with my disciplinary methods to give him the good, hard, satisfying spanking which he deserves.

By his request (he's been doing a long list of follies this week, bad boy!), I have been birching his butt all week long -- with the exception of Sunday, in which we declared a rest day. But what do I get? Each time I am tempted to pity him after a vigorous spanking (and I'm about to release his arms from the bedpost), he requests for more discipline! At one time, this was even "earned" by him by sticking his tongue out at me as I was unleashing his wrists. And oh, what a spanking he got for that! But the next day, I still got this request:

"Carolyn, since this week is the last opportunity for us to birch in a long while, I want you to give it to me tomorrow with all you've got."

He demonstrated the birch strokes he wants me to execute on his butt: forceful, whipping, and with a follow-through instead of ending the stroke where it lands. That way, he explained, even his legs will get some of the thrashes.

"Ooooh," I said. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, and it's got to be a long spanking. You should really be crazy and disciplinarian and give it to me hard."

That's not an unusual request from Marcus. He thinks my spanks are way to sweet, even when I'm trying to be strict! Besides that, his personality is one that really wants to test the limits. Until now, even though some of my spankings have been very hard and strict, I have never managed to make him cry (something he would like to experience from a spanking). Something in him just wants to "conquer" the hard spankings, to resist surrender. Yet at the same time he tells me he wants me to be able to "break him" and make him sob. He has also had this long-time fantasy of me growing taller and much bigger than him, and dragging him to my lap like a little boy. That's the feeling he expects from a good discipline: to make him feel small, vulnerable, weak, and taught a lesson. Oh how I wish I could grow some centimeters taller than him and grow some mommy hips to put my little boy unto!

I slept last night contemplating and fantasizing about the day ahead, and how I should go about Marcus' "spanking of his life". I might have slept with a smile. For sure, I definitely felt sexually excited.

This morning after breakfast, I ordered Marcus to get his birches ready. I walked with him in the forest, watching him choose the swishy twigs that will soon sore his rump. After he had taken off the leaves and tied them in a nice little bundle, I ordered him to "get up to his room", take his clothes off and wait for me. In the meantime, i dressed in the most ladylike clothes I had packed for this trip -- a short denim skirt and a black v-neck blouse. I let down my hair in a thick mane, and applied a strict eye make-up.

The clothes and the make-up made a psychological difference. Like theater actors, dressing and making-my face made me feel more up to the task. "I'll show it to him this time," I thought as I put on mascara and eyeliner for that smoky effect. "This time, he would beg me so much to stop instead of begging for more." I couldn't help smiling as I put on the lipstick and applied some blush, making me instantly look at least 5 years older. Deep inside me, I felt that it was today that Marcus would cry.

I made my presence known to him from where he waits inside the bedroom by making my steps up the stairs extra loud. Let him shiver in his boots... or lack of it! Marcus was as I had instructed, naked, facing the wall, and holding the birches behind him.

I tied him to the bed. First I tied his hips around a rolled-up mattress so he wouldn't be able to move sideways. Then I also tied him down at his shoulders. Feet were bound together and tied to one of the bed legs. His arms were spread apart, tied at 2 other bed legs. After a wiggle-test, I was assured that he could not get out of this position. I have never tied him this way before, but it looks greatly promising.

But I surprised him by giving him something that he hadn't expected. All day long yesterday he was asking for the birch. However, as dressing up I spontaneously also picked up a belt, which I intended to slap down hard on his delicious bottom before I give him what he asks for. If he wants me to take charge of this spanking, I'll show him I can do it by all means! But I wasn't thinking about that exactly just then. I just got absorbed into my role as disciplinarian and started spanking him for real after announcing my impromptu decision.

This surely had taken him by surprise. I can hear from his screams that he didn't expect this, but at the same time I knew this was the kind of punishing discipline he craved for, and that fueled me more to give it harder and harder. I don't know how long I was belting him, but I tried to give as much force as I can to each one. Soon, he was begging me to stop. I knew from experience though, that he could take so much more than this.

"You told me yesterday (*whack*) to give you the spanking of your life! (*whack*) You wanted me to give it to you hard (*whack*) and I know that later (*whack*) you'll be begging me for more! (*whack*)"

I gagged his mouth with my panties and continued to pound him with the end of the folded belt, maybe about 5 minutes more. I threatened him that any screams outside the pillow will be met with even harder whippings, and I kept true to my word until he learned to control his screams.

When I decided it was done with the belt, he heaved a sigh of relief, but not for long. I grabbed the birch, and an audible high-pitched scream came out of his mouth. "No, no, no! Please, Carolyn, Stoooop!"

I immediately put my hand on his mouth to put an end to his begging. I had to put my foot down. And besides, the feeling of being in charge --even of when he would talk and scream-- was totally exciting. "No, now you're going to get what you asked for.... Remember, you asked me to make a follow-through, like this..."

WHISHHH!!, the birch rod whistled in the air as I showed him how I would soon do it to his ass. I again heard some begging, and a beseeching hand was trying to grab on to my legs.

I tried to ignore this and proceeded to business. Marcus' continuous screams filled the room. To give him the follow through he (initially) wanted, I also stood over him on the bed as I slashed the birches between his butt and thighs.

That was painful for him, but not as accurate as when I'm standing by the bed so I stood beside him again and gave him a long series of hard birching until I thought he couldn't take more. *swish!* ow! *swish!* aj! *swish!* aaaaarrrrgh! *swish!* eeeEEE! To tell you the truth, Marcus' high pitched screams just turns me on somehow. I love it when he responds to my whacks. I swished harder and harder. It was so near, so near until he gets tired. Then, I thought, he will reach the point of losing energy to fight, and eventually just submit and cry. So near, so near...

But!

At this point, the resisting side of Marcus said the safe word! You can imagine my frustration, I was so in the mood that I found his request as another reason to put on with the spanks. At the same time though, I knew couldn't go so much further if he doesn't want to. I gave him about 10 hard birchings more after he had shouted the safe word, grabbed the belt, gave him 2 more before finally stopping.

It took me a while to relax, and then I released him from his bounds. We had a nice comforting-session afterwards, followed by... I'm sure horny spankers could imagine what ;-) But in hindsight, I don't regret that I didn't make Marcus cry this time either. It really felt to me (and he said so too), that I had been able to break him some, to make him feel more vulnerable.

You can be sure he didn't taunt me as I was releasing his arms, and well, up to this hour he hadn't yet hinted that he wants an even harder spanking in the near future!

/Carolyn

... This post is to be continued! On the next, I will post pictures of what Marcus' naughty bottom looked like: bright red, and (as I post this entry), an amazing shade of blue!