Have you ever been discovered?

First of all, I apologize to you all for the long delay in our posting. In the first weeks, as you know, Marcus was down with something (we actually thought it was salmonella since it coincided with some salmonella news here; but eventually we were able to rule it out). Then came the mountain of work for me, and it was just impossible to find time and blog! So again, my apologies.

Since no "real" spankings have been going on these past weeks (if you exclude playful ones that don't leave a mark, and zen spankings which I talked about recently), I thought I'd take a look at our own spanking photo archives from last year, to inspire me back to blogging.

I found this particularly cute pyjama picture of Marcus, from about this time of the year last year:

My broad brush had been used, resulting in pink round markings that raise slightly from the skin. Usch!

The funny thing is that my mom actually gave those pyjamas to us as a present (red for Marcus and blue for me -- our favorite colors), but she has no idea (to my knowledge anyway) that we have mostly been using it as a spanking costume. Perhaps if she mistakenly gets her way to this page, she will recognize the pattern from the pyjamas she had bought from Thailand.

I don't know how many of us would be able to share our kink with a family member. I've read some interviews of professional spankers (those that produce spanking movies), and how some of them have had to tell their parents so as not to lead a double life of sorts. As a "hobbyist", we never really felt a compulsion to divulge our hobby to anyone who knows us personally, but I remember how (because I failed to move some spanking pictures to another folder), my sister saw one of my red-butt pictures early on when Marcus and I became a couple.

I was showing her some cute couple pictures of us at Marcus' apartment, and as soon as I scrolled to the next picture, we were both surprised that it was a butt on the screen!

I deleted the picture in a hurry, red in my face as I would imagine. My butt was only slightly pink (it was one of our first spanking sessions, so I was eventually sorry that II deleted it), and Marcus -- who was worried that I might get turned off by the pain I wasn't used to by then -- fetched some re-freezable ice blocks to put on my bottom. So, the picture was actually of my pink butt, framed by a blue ice block!

I just explained it quickly to my sister as a game we tried, and then clumsily changed the topic (I even tried to say that it was Marcus' butt, hopefully she didn't stare at the picture long enough to see that it was womanly hips on the picture). Then, we never talked about the picture again. How embarrasing!!!

So my question for today stems from this personal experience of mine. Have any of you ever been discovered by a "vanilla" acquaintance, friend, or relative one time or another? How did you feel? How did you try to explain your way out of it, or did you just share the whole lot?

Polls at Blogflux don't work right now, so I would love to have your stories as comments, out of curiosity and to see weather anyone has the same experience as me!

/Carolyn

MyButt: I'm lovin' it!

They say you can never look at yourself from behind, but that doesn't stop you from loving it...


I know, I know... I'm totally hogging the scene in this blog whereas Marcus now prefers to stay on the sidelines and to read my (slowly increasing) entries instead. I have to think of some "project" for him to write about someday >;-D In the meantime, you'll keep on hearing from moi...

First, an observation. One of the other wonders about blogging about one's spanking journey is a kind of "relationship", empathy or understanding you suddenly share with other fellow spanko bloggers. Lately I have been able to relate to almost every spanko blogger entry I've come across. I read their spanking fantasies, their sensation while being spanked, being taken over by this blogging addiction, etc. and I think to myself, "Exactly, sistahs!" :-)

There was actually a time (in my sheltered youth!) when I thought this whole world of spanking and BSDM was strange one and that only "fake" people and fabricated personalities engaged in such activities. Quite the contrary! In fact, it was stupid of me to have thought this, which shows that it's always wrong to give judgement on people whom you don't really understand. People whose blogs I have read and who have shared their experiences with people like me are in fact some of the most honest, genuine people I have heard from, definitely much more true to themselves than some of the religious marms whom I grew up with. Also, being in a spanking relationship myself at present, I should be one of the first to know that spanking is possible in stable, commited relationships of people who truly love each other. It's not all that strange from any other sort of sex life or love life ... except this one is a tad more exciting and a just bit kinkier, to use some English understatements!

Being in this world is perhaps one of the best, most liberating, self-discovering events that has happened to me. This leads me to my second point, a revelation:

Within the two years I have been spanked and have been giving spankings, not only has my own self-image but even the image that I have with my own butt improved. It has changed from indifference, to self-consciousness, to (thankfully), a confidence in my own skin... or rather, my own backside.

When I started out with spanking, I was actually very conscious of how my butt looked like. I never thought that I would ever be conscious of it in the past, but after a few butt-fetish conversations with Marcus then, I was convinced that I wasn't blessed with oh-so-spankable "double juicys," which at that time, kind of depressed me. Too bad that butt transplants were expensive, risky and just plain silly, I thought. Besides, who would want to sit on a kind of hard cushion 24/7? I found this obsession of wanting to make my butt look bigger kind of strange and against-the-grain. Actually, most European girls probably have a butt-problem of the opposite nature: magazines depict the ideal model's backside to be slim, not shapely. Advertisements thrive on the "need" to reduce one's hip- and thigh fat. If they only knew how I would like to grow hip fat!!! Since the only fat I grow I seem to tuck under my belly, I even had a 6-month stint at the gym, working out my legs and my butt at the quite lazy pace of twice a week. I don't actually know if it worked or if it was just wishful thinking; at any case, I moved to indoor cycling which I also thought would improve my butt tone.

Yet, even then (I was enjoying myself to much with the cycling perhaps, so that I wasn't thinking primarily of my butt anymore?), I started to become "friends" with my butt. I never made any conscious decision to. Just one day, probably because of a particularly good spanking or a particularly loving butt-pat, I learned to be comfortable with how it looked -- regardless if it still isn't the most oh-so-spankable booty there is. When we started watching spanking videos, I realized even that butts indeed came in all shapes and sizes and mine was nothing to be ashamed of, as all the other parts of me. And like a good pat on the back, it felt good inside to know this. Externally speaking, this poured into other things: I started loving how my profile looked in a skirt, I'm now always on time for bikini-waxing and eventual plucking so I can use my sexy underwear more often (though I must admit I'm a sucker for the comfortable cotton ones). I also regularly moisturize my butt cheeks after the shower. But internally, I in fact learned to appreciate not only myself butt the humongous variety of body types there is in this world. I no longer look at big-butted people bitterly, nor do I envy them now. Instead, I learned to appreciate good-looking butts of all sizes when I see them, and actually manage to smile to myself authentically.

How about you? Are you comfortable with your butt? Please feel free to add your vote and to leave a comment if I missed anything out!



/Carolyn

My punished butt is a bratty butt no more

A question for readers at the end of this entry, if any care to answer :-)

But first things first, I here post the pictures of last weekend's punished butt, as promised...



I enjoy these after-spanking photo-shoots tremendously, actually. I love raising my butt to the camera. I feel naughty and nice and I get wet almost without fail, especially if the spanking had been a pretty intense one. In fact, I would say these are one of those times when I feel the sexiest... Has the punished slut learned her lesson after all? Hmm... maybe not.

Anyway, Abby from the Little Red Schoolhouse raised a comment in the last post about mustering the courage to buy and try the carpet beater. For my part at least, I think the pain is worth it. I mean, any other implement will hurt -- that's always the given precondition anyway, isn't it? But what other implement gives you such uniquely patterned markings? :-) I think they're almost... elegant. They're not the brutish type of markings from the belt or from the brush. Instead, the red curves almost look like calligraphy, or a patterned tattoo.


Besides, although the carpet beater definitely hurts (it's stingy but also feels hard on impact), the butt never gets any large sore-spots like in belting. Really, belting is nice but it also gets really unbearable sometimes when the belt keeps on hitting one single sore spot over and over again and you finally feel like your skin will just lift off with the belt. It's not so with carpet beating, where I feel I get just the right amount of sting (as opposed to those dreadful birches!) and also the right amount of "thud" and still feel punished. Actually, I am prepared to change my first ever entry and put "carpet beater" as one of my favorite implements to be given to me as well.

The carpet beater is, in my opinion anyway, an implement to be used with a sense of "balance" or care to the one being spanked. Believe me, even the slightest taps can hurt really much, not to mention the ones given in full swing. As the giver of carpet-beating spankings, I think it's important to know that it has great effect for so little spanking effort (really, try it on yourself!). That way, your partner won't be in for a shock! Also, carpet beaters come in different sizes, but I prefer the smaller ones which have less risk of hitting the small of the back, which is very painful when hit.

The day after the carpetbeating, my butt looked like this. Not bad, eh?

~ Now to my question, which I hope some of you readers will oblige: ~

Multiple choice is allowed. I think Marcus and I fit in two categories (the first and the last) but would like to explore the second. Since part of this blog's purpose is for us to get tips from others, I thought asking first was polite :-) We would like to know the experiences of others from such a contract, and how it is better / different from the other types of spanking.

Hope to hear from some, at least! Thanks in advance,
/Carolyn